River of Tears is based on a series of true events

In 2009 I took a step that changed me for the better, though some would disagree I’m sure. Matters not. I did it. I published my very first book. That’s something I’d wanted to do since I was a little girl.

River of Tears has been released. The final edition. I’ve learned a lot since I released it in 2009. I’ve become a stronger writer. One who knows how to make you feel, even if you don’t want to. I take pride in that ability. While I continue to grow as a writer, a story-teller, my River is one that I’m super proud of.

It’s about something that isn’t often written about. Not to say it hasn’t been done, I mean there’s all sorts of stories that deal with adults who come up missing and end up dead-mostly due to money, ransom issues. Not many of them, if any, have to do with that adults family being the nappers. This story is based off of true events and real people. In fact, I know the people very well. What’s between the covers of that story is one hell of a powerful testimony given to you by the people who lived it.

Recently, the man who took a secondary role in the story, Brad is his name, died last month. His real name was Johnny. His part in the story is real. And before I sent the book to print, I revised it and added a memorial at the end of the story….Here’s the picture of the people this story is about: Caiden and Brad 1

Well, in part…the guy at the left is Caiden, and the story was inspired by the events in his real life. The guy on the right is Brad, Caiden’s best friend in the story, and in real life, Franks best friend, Johnny.

One friend is all we need to get from point A to Z. One friend who knows you better than you know yourself. One friend to make you laugh when you need to cry. One friend to hold you up when all you want to do is fall. One friend. That’s who Johnny was to and for Frank. And, yes, it was the other way as well. They were best friends. They had each others backs. Then they grew up and went their ways, but in the end, it’s the picture you see, they never stopped being best friends to the end.

River of Tears isn’t about Brad, but he plays a big part in it. River of Tears is about adult kidnapping. And when I say kidnapping I mean kidnapping. Physically. But have you thought about emotional kidnapping? Yeah, that does exist and that is what I lived through….So, to read this story is to read some of my life. What’s true and what’s not? Interesting, right?

1424999608

River of Tears is about a woman’s struggle as she searches for her missing husband, which leads to shocking revelations about him, his family, and the crime of adult kidnapping.

Abby meets Caiden when she is sixteen years old at nineteen they marry and after seven years of marriage it ends. She is left alone with her children and the bloody clothes Caiden was last seen in.

Knowing her husband isn’t dead, Abby begins a search that takes her from Arizona to Arkansas and lasts for a span of eight years.

More determined than ever to locate her husband, before he’s killed, Abby hires a private investigator who opens the doors to Caiden’s private world of hell.

Buy Link: River of Tears

Fiction has lost it’s fiction

1960101_747103341974769_722064445_nI came across this picture/ quote today on Facebook and I’ve been wanting to write a blog on this very thing for quite sometime. I just never have the time. Imagine that.

So, I’m taking the time now to do so.

According to Dictionary.com Fiction is defined as:

noun

1. the class of literature comprising works of imaginative narration, especially in prose form.
2. works of this class, as novels or short stories: detective fiction.
3. something feigned, invented, or imagined; a made-up story: We’ve all heard the fiction of her being in delicate health.
4. the act of feigning, inventing, or imagining.
5. an imaginary thing or event, postulated for the purposes of argument or explanation.
Here’s the link to see it yourself: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fiction
Where up there does it say anything about “reality” or “keeping it as close to reality as possible?” Not a single place. Fiction is imagination is over-drive with added excitement and thrills to help the reader “escape” the reality of life. IMO anyway…and it’s very closely related to how it’s defined.
For fun I looked up Non-fiction:
1. writing dealing with facts and events rather than imaginative narration
OH! Look at that…dealing with FACTS and events RATHER than IMAGINATIVE narration. (Rather than FICTION)
Which brings us to why I’ve been wanting to create this blog/post for a long time. OH, for about four years or so…Why?
I’ll say the biggest reason is because not only do I review FICTION books, but I write them too. And when I happen upon a review done by others and they say things along the lines of: “Well, that’s just not possible, that’s not how it works, that’s so not true, it took me out of the story because it’s not REALISTIC!”
Excuse me but WHAT?! Fiction stories are NOT real stories to start with. So, why in the name of hell would one want to have REALISM in a fictional story? If that’s the case, why not go pick up a NON-FICTION book and read that? Then one can get all the boring they want. OR learn all they want. OR experience all they want. Why do people who buy/borrow/steal a fiction story then piece by piece chop it up because it’s sooo unrealistic? See, that’s the point of a fictional story…its NOT meant to be realistic. It’s meant to take one away on a journey to a pretend land, place, with pretend people to see and read about their pretend lives. And it does NOT have to be labeled in the fictional section as “fantasy,” either. Not all fictional stories are fantasy. They are meant to resemble realistic situations but are not. And for those who can’t figure out the difference between fiction and non-fiction…um…perhaps close your eyes and try to allow your mind to relax and accept this for what it is.
When I see a review done on a fiction story and the reviewer/reader says something along the lines of: “It’s NOT realistic,” “It’s not the way it’s really done.” “Oh that character is so far out there I find it impossible to believe in him/her/it.” I want to scream.
I want so ask that person a few questions. So, since I can’t ask any single person in fear of setting said person off to then turn around and say: “OH, she’s a RANTING author. She’s behaving badly.”     (eye roll here)  As an author one can’t ask the reviewer/reader why they say such a thing in today’s world. They’ll develop a bad rap before you can snap your fingers. Don’t believe me? Just look up: Badly behaving authors…make sure you use the MM Genre when doing so. I totally understand why many of those labeled with the tag: Badly behaving author, are in that folder to start with. Many readers/reviewers don’t like just one thing, just one character, just one scene and voice their opinion, then others chime in to agree with the leader of the pack…(I guess they must find a place to fit in.)
One of my characters from the Lethal Obsession series is very flamboyant and very chatty and very loving, he’s someone I wouldn’t mind having in my life. He’s not afraid to speak his mind, he’s not ashamed of who he is, he’s proud to be gay, and loves his family dearly. He is who he is. Love him or leave him alone. But guess what…he’s NOT real… however, in saying that, there are men out in this big world who ARE just like him. So, when I was shown a review that someone wrote on that story and picked on Nicholas, I wanted to blow. How dare she say he’s fake and annoying and she could not stand  him due to his “ways” that she hated the story, and refused to finish the book. NEVER mind the fact that the story is incredibly deep on a level I don’t think she could get her mind to grab, never mind the fact that the story has more than ONE damn meaning. OH and lets not forget… When I write a story…the plot isn’t about sex. Can that story make it if I took out the sex scenes? YES. I’d rather not write a story with sex,  because that’s not the main focal point for my characters.  They find themselves in rather sticky situations and they don’t have time to stop what they’re doing to get off.  I like to say that or think that, we are only seeing a small part of these characters lives, and since I’m big on plot and characterization I’d rather spend that time writing for them showing what makes that part of their lives, or focusing on a special event in their lives that makes it story worthy. That’s my philosophy though.”He’s not realistic.” “He’s too gay.” “He’s like a kid.” I want to ask that individual how often s/he gets out to meet the people in the REAL world, not the so called fictional world created by a person who writes about pretend people in a pretend world, what in the name of hell is wrong with you? THERE are men just like him. Open your mind and eyes a bit. AND even IF there weren’t guess what? It’s a fictional character in a fictional story.
Soap operas- Fictional to the nth degree. Why are we so ready to get lost in a soap opera and take it for what it is, yet not able to take a fictional book the same way. There are characters that you love to hate and hate to love. There are story lines that really make no sense on any level and some that do.  Plot holes galore. I mean come on, when was the last time you saw one of them dressed in jeans with holes in them. OR living in a trailer in   a trailer park?  Better yet…do they even work? Sure, we “see” them in their offices, but you can bet they aren’t working. More often than not they’re either getting it on over the desk or fighting. That’s ALL they do while at work…and not all of them work. I suppose they stepped into money.
So, what’s the difference between the soap opera and a fictional story?
When I write a story, and I write deep angsty stuff that deals with “what could”‘ be happening, what probably has happened, what probably will happen, and what probably is happening, it’s still a fictional account of my characters and their fictional lives. Who gives anyone the right to say “It’s not really that way.” or “So unrealistic I had a hard time getting into it.” OR my least favorite of all time: “People aren’t like that.” I want to have a one on one with that person and ask “How do you know? It’s FICTION. It’s MADE up. It’s NOT meant to be real. It’s not a true story. It’s a story written by characters in my head that aren’t real to anyone but perhaps myself.”
Do you know how long research takes to write a fictional story? WE do have to put “realistic” parts that others probably don’t even thought to, just so that story is with the times and the characters are not using items that perhaps weren’t available to them at the time the story takes place. In writing Deserted I came up against this: Cell phones. I ended up cutting a scene that had dealt with one of the characters using his cell, but the story takes place in the 90’s. Have to keep them in order on a time line. And naturally I had something along the lines that the character had a touch screen. Then added a GPS feature. I read it over and realized that back then, we didn’t have touch screens as we do today and the GPS feature in the phones then are nothing like they are today. The scene wasn’t cut due to the phone, though. It was cut because it was in the first draft and no longer necessary by the second/third go over.
In that, fictional books do take some research so they don’t throw a reader out of the story over the small stuff. But when it comes to the characters and what’s going on during that time of their lives, take it for what it is. Allow yourself to believe. Not everything has to be real.
IMG_5752

Never! Ever! Again!

996635_460874624029406_171321081_n

They say never trust what you don’t see. I’ve learned that the hard way. I guess one can say I’m too gullible. I know I am. I always want to believe what others tell me. I want to believe there is good in this messy world. I wanted to believe that someone I considered a very close and personal friend, was a close and personal friend. Turns out, once again I was wrong.

My family warned me, told me there’s something not right about that person. Did I listen? I wish I would have. I wish I would have opened my damn eyes and paid attention to my gut instincts. I always have before but when it came to this so called friend, I forced those feelings away. I wanted to believe this person was being honest with me. I wanted to think I was worth that respect. I wanted to believe so I did.

Two years and a lot of conversations. All of that gone to waste. Gone with that is my ability to trust what I cannot see. I wrote a post not long ago about this very subject. I had suspicions a year ago and I kept ignoring it.

Sadly, on Halloween my suspicions came to light and quite by accident. I didn’t go looking for it it came looking for me. In 2011 I was sent a picture of this friend’s boyfriend. Last night I found out this picture, or pictures I should say, as he sent many of them, were stolen from the damn Internet and sent to me via email telling me the person in the picture was so and so. I didn’t question it. I glanced at it and let it be. I TRUSTED that individual. I TRUSTED he wouldn’t lie to me. I think I  knew then he was lying. But at the time, I needed someone to talk to, I needed someone outside of the writing world, someone outside of my family to talk to and connect with. I needed an unbiased person to talk with. I didn’t know that person would become very special to me. I cared very much about the person I’d met via another friend. I guess I WANTED to believe so I did. I saw many warning signs, but I ignored them because at the time I had too much in my life to deal with, and none of it pleasant. That so called friend made me laugh, made me happy, made me a better person all the way around. That person showed me it was okay to love me, to be proud of myself, to accept and never to judge. That person was, is, so wise. And sadly, I never once got to talk to that individual, never got to hear the voice behind the words. That person added positive into my world when I needed it the most. I loved that person for being able to be what I needed him to be. Always there for me, always willing to talk, always listening, never judging, but often giving opinions. Wise words all the time.

I looked forward to talking, or I should say im’ing with them, and I say them because the friend I’d met him through was also a part of what I needed. They, as a team, helped me in many ways and I never once got to hear his voice to say, thank you. And I know I never will. I know he’s not out there. I know he is someone, I just don’t know who he is, if he is. He’s never offered to prove a damn thing to me. I trusted him to come to me with it. I left him or her plenty of openings to come to me and tell me. I did press the issue a few times over the past two years, wishing I could hear his voice or even see current pictures of him and his boyfriend. Even a picture of his new nephew. Each request was ignored. Oftentimes he’d engage in my questions and say out of respect for his partner he could not talk on the phone, and he could not send pictures. And he is, or I’m told he is a Dom. And he’d get mad at me for asking for that information. I know I should have just walked away and I wish I did then what I am doing now.

Whatever he is, whoever he is, if he does exist, I had to get this out of me and talk about it. This is how I communicate the best. Word to paper, so to speak. Publically I’m thanking him for his emotional support, and publically I’m thanking him for his advice. Publically I wanted it to be known that I am a very open minded person, always have been and suspect always will be. However, until I’m proven wrong I no longer can trust by the typed word only. If I can’t talk to someone I adore, trust, care about, be they guy, girl, or alien, on the phone and meet in person at least once, I have no interest in engaging in a “relationship” beyond a general hello good to see you are okay, one. I can’t. My emotional wellbeing can’t take anymore lies by people I allow myself to care about. Believe me you’ve made me very aware of how creepy the internet can be.

It’s partially my fault for being so damn gullible, but I blame him for taking that and making a fool out of me. Making me feel like the dumbest person on the planet. I blame whoever it is behind those words. I gave that person two years to come to me with the truth and NOT A SINGLE WORD. Instead, he now hides and has yet to try to explain shit to me. While it’s true I didn’t exactly try to talk to him on my find, instead I sent him a link to his so called boyfriend’s Flickr page. He said, “What about it?” I was too angry to respond and haven’t.

Apparently his dad died recently, and God I hope he’s real and this is true because to say something so sad and it be a lie, well Momma Karma is waiting around the corner.

My head is trying to make excuses for him now. Well, I keep fighting those damn excuses he could possibly come up with and remember how sick this world is and how sick people can be.

He said via email the pictures he attached in the mail were of his boyfriend. HE SAID IT. I did not ask it. HE sent the emails all on his own. So, what excuses are there for that? “Let’s see how we can make her look like an idiot?!” Come to mind. Let’s take this trusting individual and fuck her head up even more. Let’s take this trusting person, befriend her, lie to her, and make her look more the fool.

Well, if you’re reading this, you did it. Are you happy now?

And thanks to you and your boyfriend… Or you and your girlfriend. Or you, whoever you are and your friend(s). Thank you for taking my trust and destroying me with it. Thank you for making me a whole hell of a lot more conscious of who tries to befriend me because now I’m not open to it. Thank you for helping me too. Thank you for being who I needed you to be at the time. Thank you for making me feel bad for you, feel hurt with you, feel worry with you and for you. Thank you for the lovely necklace and bracelet. Thank you for giving me hope. And thank you for waking me the fuck up.

I hate you for your lies. I hate you for not trusting in me, as I did you. I hate that you are now laughing behind my back with your friends, friend, or all by yourself. Thank your boyfriend, who used to chat online too. He also sent false pictures of himself and proudly stood behind them. He even sent a picture he “took” and changed… He found that online too. I found it the other night and he did not take it or accent it, or she, or whoever you all are. He used it to lie. So, now you are both liars. If I dug deeper I’d probably discover you live somewhere in Washington. You played a sick game. And I hate you for it.

As I See It 2

As I See It

 

Hump Daaay!! Ha! That damn camel from that Geico commercial comes to mind right? Admit it! It’s so stupid it’s funny.

 

Anyways… I worked too hard today. I’m brain fried. Or is that a fried brain? Who cares. Point is my head isn’t working with my fingers. I spend much of my day interviewing people or listening to calls. That has a way of killing the muse at times. My muse never woke up today. Brat!

I have to share this with you because there is no way it’s going to sit in my head and only in my head. I was looking for a video and somehow or another ended up looking on Yahoo instead of Youtube. Why? Look up to the last paragraph. And what I saw I can’t unsee and I want to unsee! I tried finding a commercial that makes me laugh every time it comes on and because I write what I do, I have the safety option turned off on all the search engines I use to do research. For the love of all that’s pure and innocent!!! Yahoo really made me almost throw up. Not even kidding. I’m disturbed and I need a strong drink. Small problem there. I don’t drink. So, while looking for that commercial I came across a damn video of beastiality. NO! I did NOT watch it. The clip on the screen hurt my eyeballs! What is wrong with people??? They are sick! Sick! Sick people I tell you. I mean who the hell does that shit? I know and have known it’s out there, however I never went looking for it and I refuse to write it. It’s just downright disgusting and people who do that need to be shot. In the head. Twice. My pure innocent eyes are hurting and my brain went into OHNOSHEDIDN’T!! drive. BLECH!

Okay, I need happy. I need something sweet. HA! I say this now and my mom brings me a cupcake with pink frosting and OMG! It’s hellish sweet.

Here’s something awesome I found when I went to check my email earlier. I have to say it’s pretty awesome and I hope you all share this with everyone you know. These kids are amazing!

 Follow Link Here

 

Chat tomorrow!!

Listen here!

Vicktor Alexander and Elsa Pendragon interviewed me! Talk about going OVER the line…

 

Michele L Montgomery is no stranger to adversity. Tonight on Write On the Edge, this wonder of an author talks candidly about how her marriage affected her writing and vice versa. She also shared what kind of candy bar she was, her favorite (and least words) for . . .intimate things, and what her naughtiest purchase was. This show is definitely not PG and promises to take you to the Edge with laughter and heart. Join us on WON Radio for Write On the Edge and the latest interview with Michele L Montgomery. Check it out here! http://www.blogtalkradio.com/writersonlinenetwork/2013/08/09/write-on-the-edge-w-michele-l-montgomery

Wanna win and hear me? Live? Read more!

I had the wonderful opportunity to be a guest on “Edge Blog Talk Radio,” where they walk a fine line between “edgier” and “trashy”. I was sent many questions and asked to pick twenty of them to chat about with the lovely Vicktor Alexander. Now, you’re sitting there and saying, ‘okay, so what.’

Well, let me tell you this. This is the first time I’m actually going live with someone else asking the questions. Exciting for me for sure and a wild ride!

Now, since I was sent seventy questions and chose twenty, there’s still some left over! So, I decided to answer a few here just for fun!

I’m also going to have a bit of fun with this. I’ll be releasing “Lethal Obsession: Deserted early fall, which actually means very soon. So, how about a free copy? A gift from me to you. I love giving gifts. And since I’m not rolling in the dough, the only thing I can give of me is a story I slaved over for quite a long time.

I keep blogs at four sites. Each site will have ONE winner that will get a FREE copy of Carl and Lucca’s story. The official blurb hasn’t been written yet but it’s the story before Caged.

Anyways, here we go with some of the questions I didn’t answer for Vic.

1-    Name a fictional character that is your ideal lover. I’m laughing here because my lover would have to be fictional as I have yet to meet that special one man who is as hot, as adventurous, as sweet, as alpha, as everything that most fictional characters are.

2-    What is your favorite and/or least favorite word for:  Penis?  Vagina?  Sex? I did a post last year on the many words writers use for a man’s penis. Here’s the link: Penis So I’ll say pretty much all of those would not make my favorite list. I don’t have a favorite list to be honest. A penis is a penis is a penis. A Vagina, same thing. And Sex… well I could go on and on with this one. ‘Doin’ the dirty,’ is my least favorite and my favorite is, ‘Fuck like monkey’s.’ Why? I have NO clue but I have to laugh when I hear it.

3-    Have you ever played out a fantasy in your story? Well no… However if I ever find that perfect man, who is like the fictional character from question one I would. I so would!

4-    How do you react to a bad review of your work? Honestly I don’t ever read reviews of my work. I did when I first released Tony and Ryan and a group of mean people from a social networking site attacked those poor characters and then me, then they attacked Caged from what I know, so since then I stopped reading them. A review is ONE person’s opinion about something they may or may not be comfortable with. In my case, in my stories, I am a dark writer, I do focus on angsty fiction and it can get harsh, but in that, there’s a deep story line with very engaging characters who would love for their readers to get to know, but just like in real life, not everyone loves everyone. So they won’t all love the characters or their situation. Just like I don’t like crackheads who beg, borrow, and steal to feed their nasty habit. It’s all good.

5-    Who would play you in the film of your life? Well, if it’s about me why can’t I play me? I know me best after all.

6-     Have you ever used a line from one of your books on someone? What was it? I do not. I never steal my character’s stuff.

7-    Describe your fantasy vacation. One guess….did you guess? Well if not, read Lethal Obsession and you’ll soon know!

8-    What is your guilty pleasure? So, if I don’t say chocolate and strawberries will you still love me? HA! I’m really a nerd at heart so in saying that I LOVE to do jigsaw puzzles and crafts when I can. I even LOVE to color!

9-    Who are the top five celebrities men and women that you would sleep with and why? Not a one of them. Why? Cuz they sleep with everyone! I don’t want their cooties!

10- What is something that people would be surprised to know about you? This one I’m not answering. Why? Because this is where the free book comes in. You ask me any question, (within reason) you’d like and keep it nice please and the best question asked wins the book!

So, for more of me….remember to go to: Write on the Edge to hear me answer Vic’s questions. WHEE!!! I will be there on the 9th of August. Or somewhere…

When will we learn?

Picture

I must ask…Do you think it’s okay to bully/pick on people “below” you? OR I should say…people you THINK are below you? Especially, if the one doing the picking, is or considers itself someone “special?” I’m willing to bet you’ll say no.

Let me also ask, if you saw, read, heard one of your idols… I do hate that word, simply because we are all the same, just diverse with different genetic patterns…so let me replace that “idol” word with someone you admire for whatever reason…they, it, s/he could be a writer, an actor, a musician, hell, anyone famous or thinks they are famous, would you go along with that person if you caught it picking on, laughing at, bullying someone else just because they do it?

Lord help your soul if you do.

And if you do, if you’re that weak of a person, please I ask that you look up there to the right of the page and hit that X.

Bullying of any sort, from anyone in today’s society is something I will not tolerate, is something that none of us should tolerate. And if you do, because your so called idol does, shame on you. We are to stand against bullies and that means we stand against ALL bullies. And to think this so called public figure makes money off the very people it picks on. TSK

Public figures that bully, and I do not care if it’s in jest, should be taken down and thrown away. There is no excuse and there is no room for it. Everyone can be replaced.

 

Lethal Obsession: Deserted

lethal obsession deserted coverThis is the cover to the latest Lethal story. It’s been ready for about a year but with my ups and downs the release of it has taken a bit. One of the problems I had was locating an editor. They are expensive when you’re a self published author such as myself. I made myself a promise and it’s one I’m keeping. I will not sell the rights of my boys/guys in the Lethal series/ or the Behind Blue Eyes series to a publisher. I have my own reasons and we’ll save that for another day.

That lovely cover was done by the one and only Zathyn Priest. When I saw it on his site I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the man sitting in that chair was my Carl, just as he was in the opening of the story. I’m not kidding. Just wait till you read it.

Anyway, I don’t get tons of fan mail asking about the next Lethal book, but I do get a few questions about it on Facebook and it just so happens that the last time I was asked I went ahead and gave this very sweet reviewer/author an ARC unedited copy of Deserted.

She played a trick on me. She posted the review and I had no idea so it was a pleasant surprise to see it when I did. Especially that the 19th is my anniversary from my estranged husband. It’s tough to be honest. We spent almost thirty years together. We had a lot together, we still have a lot together. Just not each other.

So, seeing this teaser review made my week. Well, being alive is awesome in itself but to see one of my Lethal fans so excited and then read what she wrote about it, added to the happy of life.

Deserted has gone off to Jeff Erno for edits. I don’t yet have a release date, but it’ll be soon. We plan on selling it someplace new and special. More to come on that.

If you are one of the devoted Lethal fans, thank you for your patience on this release. It’s been a hard two years. Very hard.

Anyway, here’s a copy and the link to the review of Lethal Obsession: Deserted which is Carl and Lucca’s story pre-Lethal Obsession: Caged. If you read that one you’ll know there was a history between those two characters. Well, Deserted explains that.

I’m working on the blurb but thought to share the review.

A little tease: Deserted ;Lethal Obsession 3 by Michele L Montgomery

This is a  little different review since there is no buy links yet but i will add them as soon as we get them.
Michele is one of my favorite M/M authors and one day i was asking her (well actually pestering her about when the next Lethal Obsession would be out. She said she was working on it. Then she surprised me  by asking me if id like to read it, though it hadnt been editd. Well of course I said heck Yeah! So I got a sneak preview! Ha! And it was awesome! Thank You Michele! I love you! So here  a sneak peak review to tease you.

http://cathybrockmanauthor.blogspot.com/2013/07/a-little-tease-deserted-lethal.html?showComment=1374199128705#c301995028755522354

Title: Deserted
Series: Lethal Obsession book 3
Release Date To be announced
Author:  Michele L Montgomery
Genre:  mm contemporary, suspense, D’s((BDSM)
Length: 259 pages
Publisher Not yet published-self published
Warnings: bring tissues starts out as a tearjerker, also a nail biter.
Meows: 5
Purrrs:5 Explicit
Reviewer: Cat
Review: Carl is a special ops agent. You could say an assassin he is also a very skilled sought after Dom. He has had his heart ripped out by his own doing (you have to read to see this but OMG I bawled my eyes out) and hasn’t loved since. Three years later his best friend Tony and boss calls and ask him to do a favor and help find a runaway Italian heir. Since the boy is in the sub scene he feels Carl is the man for the job.
Lucca is a spoiled rich kid and only heir to his mom and dad’s legacy. They are always gone working but made sure Lucca was well taken care of. Sal practically raised him and Lucca loved him like a brother. Lucca felt everyone in his life deserted him and he refused to do as his parents said and follow their footsteps going to the college they insisted so he runs away.
Lucca gets into a lot of trouble being young and naïve and also very sexy and strong-willed every Dom’s dream to break.
I absolutely loved this book. This one tells about how Carl and Lucca met. This is one hot sexy, beautiful, heart ripping out love story. I cried and sighed. I feel head over heels in love with Carl. He is the perfect dream man. Handsome sexy dangerous mysterious, strong but broken in side.
Since I had read Caged I sort of expected the ending but I’m not even gonna say. I will say this final love scene was hot, sexy and tear jerking. Yup I said tear-jerking. You will have to read them.  I suggest you read this one before Caged but it works either way, this just delves into both men’s past more in-depth.
If you can’t wait Here are the links to my reviews of
Tony and Ryan: Lethal Obsessions book one
Caged Lethal Obsessions book two
Buy links are in the reviews.
Recommendations: If you  love mystery and suspense, really hot characters ( all of them are) hot steamy sensual Mansex, BDSM(D’s) and an intriguing love story that will  make you cry and sigh I highly recommend this ( when it is released)

Pause

Just a few things

 

Since coming to Arizona on a sabbatical I’ve learned how to stop worrying so much about accepting what I cannot change and learning how to appreciate what I have and who I am. I said trying. Nothing can happen overnight. I’m slowly seeing the world around me, by myself and looking at it with a new set of eyes so to speak.

In everyday life most of the world or I should say the people in the world are just so damn busy they don’t have the time to stop and take in what’s around them and I’m not speaking about family and or friends. I’m talking about the world itself and the place and city you’re living in. I had a chance to do that and it gave me a renewed sense of energy and appreciation. I’ve always been too busy to stop, drop and look. It’s not something I can afford to do often, but I want to. It’s relaxing and it clears my mind of the projects I must get done. We’re not robots, we’re meant to stop and take a look around, take a breath, see the place you’re at with a renewed sense of wonder. We can’t pop the DVD of our life in the player hit the play button, rewind and play again. We need to learn how to hit the pause button so we can take a deep cleansing breath.

Now, I know busy is busy. Projects are due, children need you, your partner needs you, family and friends need you and you really don’t mind in any way helping, giving, and doing. However, if we keep playing and rewinding, guess what’s going to happen? Yup, break down is inevitable. Be it an anxiety issue, moods up and down, depression, or a number of other physical or mental aliments, a breakdown is lingering. A year from now, two, five, or even ten.

So, in saying that, I want to encourage you to hit that pause button. Go ahead. No time like the present.

This is what happened to me when I hit it.

Can you see it? SQUEE!!! I LOVE LIZARDS. It took all I had NOT to scream and jump up and down in pure glee! This little one actually stayed there long enough for me to take several pictures of it.

I caught this lovely Quail while out and about. This is the male and his mate and kidlets were most likely in those bushes hiding. He’s the lookout making sure his family was safe from predators. Quail’s are amazing birds, very family oriented and they always travel together. The male and female are amazing parents to their young.

This was taken where I’m living. I caught some of the Quail family. Most had already headed to the brush to hide but I did get pretty close before the parents told the kidlets to hide.

And here is a wild bun bun. He’s not a jack-rabbit. LOL! If you look behind him, those dark spots are the Quail. I was standing pretty far away at this time and had to zoom my phone in to get the rabbit. That was a fast wabbit.

Can you see it? This is another lizard! Up close it’s different colored. He was having a tanning moment. And he’s pretty big too.

This is just a picture of where I’m at and my girl there. But if you really stop/pause and take a look you’ll see much more than Abby. Tell me what these buildings remind you of. Look at those “green” trees. Don’t forget I’m in Arizona!

This is what I’ll call the Desert Watering Bowl. Just in case you’re wondering why that part is lying there, it’s due to the “wild pigs” we have running around in the desert and washes. We call them: Havalina. Not very nice even as piglets.

And seeing as how I’m staying with my mum at the moment, I thought it only right that you see exactly how busy it is here during rush hour. Oh the pain of it all! And this is a main road! Now don’t get all troubled, the “snow birds” will be back when it’s cooler out. I hear the wait time to turn is something like five minutes! Again, the pains. In Denver? OH, about twice that, IF you’re a gutsy driver. If not? Just go home and stay there.

These pictures are just some of the things I’ve seen when I put that pause button to work. It pays to take a short walk and really “look” around you. We do live in a lovely world. Even if this IS the desert. And no, I’m not hunting rattlesnakes.

They need you!!

Picture Recently I had the pleasure both of heart and mind to organize and write a short story that centered around homeless gay teens and how they dealt with coming out to their families. As many of you know that anthology is titled: Lost and Found and ten authors took part of that amazing event and each of them along with the editor donated all the proceeds of the anthology to a charity by the same name. One who helps the gay teens get off the streets and one who gives them a second chance at life without having to resort to drugs and prostitution.

Shortly after that, a close friend of mine told me he was part of an organization called: GLBT Advocacy & Youth Services, Inc, which is located in Huntsville, Alabama.

Huntsville is the second-largest city in Alabama. The city is nicknamed “The Rocket City” for its close history with U.S. space missions. Huntsville’s main economic influence is derived from aerospace and military technology. Redstone Arsenal, Cummings Research Park (CRP), and NASA‘s Marshall Space Flight Center comprise the main hubs for the area’s technology-driven economy.

It’s within that lovely city surrounded by its people who love it regardless of the humidity, lies the GLBT Advocacy & Youth Services center which has been named Our Space.

Our Space was founded by James Robinson some four years ago. He wanted to give the GLBT community a safe haven to meet one another without the fear of being bullied and with the comfort knowing they were free to talk about themselves. He wanted to give the youth hope for their future and a place for them to go and ask whatever questions they didn’t feel they could ask anyone else.

Our Space is the only support group of its type in Huntsville and it’s growing very fast. It’s run solely by volunteers, and has been since its start. Prior to Our Space there wasn’t an organization in Huntsville for the GLBT community. What fascinates me the most, is that Our Space is run entirely by its volunteers. There are social workers, transgender people, gay men and women, and women with cancer are some of the biggest supporters. James has a huge list of volunteers who are just nipping at the bit to help out in any way they can. Most of them put in more hours than a regular full time job requires and they don’t get paid a single cent. The last time James looked his group of volunteers put in over seven thousand unpaid hours over the past seven months.

Members on staff range from young adult volunteers to licensed social workers. One of James’ right hand friends drives two hours each Monday to attend the weekly youth meeting. That’s what I call dedication. In fact, his team of volunteers are truly outstanding. They give of themselves without question, without expecting a single thing. But what they gain at the end of the day is the knowledge that they were able to help other people and do all they could within their powers to be sure each person who needed help, got it. Though they can’t help by ways of financial needs, their giving of their free time shows downright commitment.

Sadly, Our Space does not offer housing for teens who have been tossed out by their un-accepting family members, though at some point they hope to offer that. As of today there are two homeless shelters , however they are not located within Huntsville and the public transportation is almost non-existent. There are two day drop in centers one in Huntsville, one in Birmingham. In Birmingham, Alabama there is talk of opening a night shelter. But it’s just talk at the moment and I hope it becomes a reality for the teens who find themselves without a place to go through no fault of their own. Being gay is not a reason to be homeless.

If a teen calls Our Space who happens to be without a place to go, James makes sure s/he is okay and either he or one of his volunteers will drive that person to a shelter for a place to eat and sleep at least for that night. Sadly the public transit system is lacking and the homeless shelters are some distance outside of Huntsville.

It’s wonderful there are day drop in shelters and centers but neither can do anything for the kids who find themselves without a place to stay. Begging friends to sleep on their couches or in sheds or floors can only go on for so long. Now think about it, more often than not their friends live at home and their parents won’t allow for it to go on long. They don’t want trouble with the law, or the kids family. So, the teen ends up on the street and eventually find their way outside of Alabama. Most of them end up in big cities. Like New York. Once in New York they blend in with the crowds, turn to prostitution, drugs, thieves, and most end up dead.

I learned something new from James when I spoke to him. I asked him about a program he has listed on the Our Space website. Huntsville Host Home Program (HHHP)-one placement.

Here is how it’s explained on the website:

“The program and the people behind it share a deep commitment to our communities, our youth and social change — not just through the sharing of resources, but through a transformative and intimate process of sharing our homes and our lives. Youth in the program will have had the chance to build trusting relationships and create stronger communities.” The article does go on and if you’d like to read more about it, please follow this link: Huntsville Home Host Program

This unique and wonderful idea came from the GLBT in Minneapolis, Minnesota to help homeless youth. James met with the directors there, he was given a sum of money to go to Minneapolis and receive training from the team there. He wanted to incorporate that same idea for Our Space but he found out he’d likely run into legal issues by helping the kids in need. As of today, there are only five or six programs in the country set up to take in homeless kids and place them with foster families.

When I asked James how many kids he was able to place and he told me and I frowned and then smiled. A young adult who was nineteen at the time was placed with a host family. ONE. But at least that one person received help from the host family. When I asked why not more? There are so many young adults who would benefit off this program. It’s almost like foster care if you will. His response will stun you as it did me.

It all comes down to the parental legal rights over their child, regardless of how that child ended up homeless. In Alabama a parent can file charges against anyone who steps up to the plate to help their unwanted kid. File charges! Apparently according to the law in many states it is illegal to help the youth by bringing them home. Can you even believe that? Those so called parents have the power to step in to make the kids life even more miserable even if they aren’t wanted at home due to their sexuality. I expect Child Social Services steps in and the teen ends up in a group foster home until s/he is of age. In Alabama, since it’s somewhat smaller than Minnesota, the parent will step in and will do what they can to make their kids lives miserable. People who help can face very big legal issues to take in thrown away kids. That law keeps others from taking them in no matter how their heart breaks for them. In Minnesota no one checks on the kids that are tossed away and the foster care program does work. I expect it’s due to the size of the city.

So, let me get back to Our Space. Over the past three years James has done over fifty interviews on TV, newspapers, magazines and such. His agency is a huge success and there’s a misconception there as well. All you see is this: Our Space is a huge success in helping the GLBT community. You smile, and you think nothing more of it. Why? Because of the “huge success.” Just because something is a huge success does not necessarily mean they are financially well off. Nine times out of ten that agency is struggling to make the simplest ends meet each month.

Yes, success is a great word and it’s awesome to see, but Our Space needs money. Plain and simple Our Space needs financial help to keep going. It takes two thousand dollars a month to meet the rent and utilities and other small things the center requires. Now, let me mention here that James does not have a job outside of his work with the community. I’m not just speaking about his role at Our Space either. He’s on the PFLAG board, he speaks at schools about anti-bullying, he speaks up at the community meetings and not just about GLBT related issues. He’s a speaker for rights for all.

In order to keep that center open and running to help the Huntsville community they need you. They need help. Think this. Those young adults need help. And get this. Our Space is looking at opening a thrift store to help with the money they need, however in order to do that, they need money to keep the building that houses Our Space. Once they can be sure those bills will be met, then James plans on focusing on opening a thrift store to further help themselves.

I asked James how he spreads the word as far as who and what Our Space is and does. I have to say, I’d love to have him as my marketer. He does not pay a single person to get the word out there yet he won the social media contest! And he’s an introvert! I have to say he’s an amazing human being and he’s truly one of God’s sweet Angel’s.

So, what can we do to help them? There are a few ways we can. And because we care about our youth and what happens to them, we will, right? We can mail in donations, we can use Paypal to donate, we can go to Our Space’s Amazon wish list and get them a couple things they need. OR you can volunteer! How? Even if you don’t live in Alabama, there are ways you can help virtually. Here’s a small list of people James needs.

A CPA

A bookkeeper

A Personal Assistant – must live in Huntsville

A website designer

Needs a treasurer – must live in Huntsville

Needs an attorney for civil rights- must live in Alabama or know the laws in Alabama

Needs references for legal questions

To volunteer I’ve put all links you need below.

Our Space needs help. Keep that thought in mind. On the battlegrounds, Alabama is behind the times and financial help for Our Space from Alabama is nil.

James was seen as THE gay advocate. He stepped out and became an activist. He puts the center and its needs first. He is a hero among the community and they thank him to no end. He brings a sense of community to Huntsville. James told me it’s an amazing experience and he’s proud that they were able to help over fifty kids to date.

What James wants for the future?

A place that offers the homeless youth a home, He wants to offer a new program geared to the young adults to do social gatherings at Our Space. He wants what we all want. Acceptance and understanding.

It takes funding though. The local PFLAG chapter in Huntsville is very small and they donate when they can. James said he’s also received donations from foreign countries, but it’s not enough.

Alabama has been rated 50th in the nation as a bad place for homeless youth.

The organization does not advise kids to come out as a GLBT youth due to the fact that it is personal and when they do come out as underage adults, James and his team will tell them what can happen to them if they do. The volunteers share their coming out experiences with the teens and if they still want to come out, Our Space will be there as much as they can be for them. Our Space wants the kids to think before they act.

Think before you act. That’s a life lesson for everyone, not just the youth who are struggling with their sexuality and who to tell and who not to. Sure, some can keep it a secret until they move out on their own, but some get caught and their whole world changes right before their eyes. And Our Space is there and ready to help each and all.

Our Space has a motto:

What can we do to help you?

James and his volunteers, as well as the people they help, are thrilled and excited that Alabama has a community center for all. There is a true community feeling being built within Our Space community center. There has never been a place for everyone, regardless of anything. All are welcome.

Links of interest and to help:

http://www.glbtays.org/index.html Our Space’s website

https://www.facebook.com/gayinalabama

Huntsville PFLAG

Amazon Wish List

You can send donations to:

GLBT Advocacy & Youth Services, Inc.
P.O. Box 3443
Huntsville, Alabama 35810